


five times Zayn wants to kiss Liam

by transgenicveins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Five And One, M/M, circa 2012, or are they called five times fics?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 23:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgenicveins/pseuds/transgenicveins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(and one time he does)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>'This will definitely pass', Zayn repeats to himself, like a mantra. Except it doesn't.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	five times Zayn wants to kiss Liam

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posting from lj, etc, etc, etc,

i.

 

The first time Zayn is assaulted with the overwhelming urge to kiss Liam, it’s approximately three seconds after the host of the X-Factor has announced that Rebecca is the second person through to the final. Liam is a whole three bodies away, but Zayn can still _feel_ the boy’s heart swell up with nerves and deflate so suddenly it’s almost audible and _no_ , this wasn’t how it’s supposed to be, Liam didn’t spend the past several weeks chastising the others and working his voice raw to come _third_.

Zayn lifts his head slowly- _always so cool and mysterious_ , Louis would tease- and Simon moves away and Liam’s right there, honey hair dishevelled from the nerves backstage and big eyes threatening tears but not allowing them, because that would be _so very rude_. For a moment, Zayn wishes that Liam would drop the pleasantries and be upset, and let the four others be upset, because Liam walks and they follow. He is so caught up in watching Liam compose himself that he neglects to notice Niall shaking beside him or his own throat constricting.

Liam looks at him then- at Zayn- and it hits him how this moment, on a stage in front of millions, might be the very last time it will be the five of them. He wouldn’t wake up to Niall’s snores or Louis and Harry’s (not so sneaky) late night cuddles or Liam’s stern ‘coffee-breakfast-rehearsals-then-you-can-sleep’.

It hits him, then. He’s so overwhelmed with the need to grab Liam by his stupidly adorable scarf and kiss the frown off his lips that he temporarily forgets his manners, that he barely registers the montage, that he can’t help winking like some seizing teenager as he assures Britain that ‘ _we’ll definitely stay together_ ’, while on the inside he’s assuring himself that ‘ _this will definitely pass_ ’.

 

ii.

 

The second time Zayn wants to kiss Liam isn’t until much, much later- so much later that he’s successfully convinced himself that the first time was a ‘combination of nerves and sadness and bad Nandos’. Or so he repeats to himself like a mantra.

No, the second time isn’t like the first. The second time is after their first show of the Up All Night tour when they’re in the car on the way back to the hotel. Harry and Louis are cuddling and Niall’s chatting to the bodyguards and Zayn and Liam are in the back. Liam’s texting something furious and maybe it’s the way the soft blue light plays on his cheeks, or the post-show adrenalin rush settling in, or just the fact that he’s so fucking horny it _hurts_ , but something convinces Zayn to shuffle _just that little bit closer_.

Liam throws him a smile and turns back to his phone. His heart isn’t thumping as painfully as Zayn’s- of course it isn’t, they’re so _affectionate_ all the time, a post-show cuddle is no different-

Except they aren’t cuddling. Zayn’s waiting (for what- for Liam to take care of him? _Fuck_ ) and Liam’s texting Danielle, and for some reason (the blue light, adrenalin, ‘no-sex-on-tour’), something hot and jealous curls in his stomach. 

Maybe he could fix his hair until Liam demands him to stop. 

Maybe he could sing along to the radio in his ear.

Maybe he could close the thirty centimetre wide gap between their lips and kiss him into focus-

Zayn considers jumping out of the car and into the oncoming traffic because _no_ , he doesn’t want that, he just wants Liam’s attention. Undivided, of course. But just that. Not his lips or his tongue or his perfect straight teeth-

Liam looks up and immediately shoves his phone down the side of the soft seats. “Are you alright?” he asks gently, over Harry and Louis’ conversation, under Niall’s whining.

Zayn nods, but Liam shuffles closer anyway. His eyes shift to Liam’s lips- underrated, always overshadowed by Harry’s, but so much _warmer_ , just like Liam himself- and he can’t help but imagine how they would taste for a wonderful second before shutting the thought down and resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

 

iii.

 

The third time Zayn wants to kiss Liam, it’s sometime in the week after his breakup with Danielle. It was expected - they’ve been on tour for months and she isn’t some dutiful housewife during the world war- but he’s still upset, and there’s still nothing that Zayn can do.

The boys (including Zayn, of course, and sometimes even Paul) throw themselves into cheering Liam up. The first day after the Liam sends out a group text (nonchalant as ever, with the four of them in the same room- ‘Danielle just broke up with me. Is the soundcheck at four or five tomorrow?’), Niall breaks into their hotel room with a mountain of food. He explains how Liam needs to ‘eat his feelings, before he deals with his feelings’. Liam eyes the pile of food nervously and shoots Zayn a pleading look for support, but nonetheless starts on the pasta and finishes on the brownies. And Zayn kind of thinks the sight of whipped cream on Liam’s cheeks is his favourite in the world.

Louis comes around a couple of days after with a set of car keys and an itinerary. Zayn claps an encouraging hand on Liam’s shoulder as he walks out the door and shoots Louis a thankful smile because really, Liam needed Vitamin D as much as the rest of them. When Liam returns just before midnight looking almost happy, Zayn decides that he doesn’t really care where Louis took him.

That weekend, Harry comes around with a look of single-minded determination across his pretty lips that Zayn hates on instinct. He stays because he doesn’t know how to help Liam quite yet and he really doesn’t want to leave Liam with a determined Harry.

It’s pretty hectic after that. Liam sits in this big comfy chair he adores and Zayn can’t really recall the exact moment when Harry decided it would be a _just brilliant_ idea to jump onto Liam’s lap and start kissing him, but it still makes him ache. 

Zayn thinks about relating it to watching a train wreck because he _can’t_ stop watching Harry moaning like a fucking porn star and Liam’s hands clenching and unclenching on the arms of the chair, as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do, and he _definitely_ stares at the guilty smile Harry shoots his way as he extracts himself from Liam’s lap.

“Sorry,” he says, when Harry’s gone and Liam’s all composed.

Liam looks up a little too quickly. “What for?” he asks incredulously.

Zayn frowns. “Because I can’t help you.”

Liam rolls his eyes and rests his knees in between Zayn’s and shows him this fucking perfect smile, one that makes him forget how confused he was watching Harry kiss him. “You’re here,” he says quietly, almost a whisper, and Zayn never wants to move away. “That helps.”

It’s hits him, then. He’s pretty certain that he’s wanted to kiss Liam all day, but he understands what Harry was doing, he thinks, because maybe if Liam’s too preoccupied with a lapful of Zayn, he won’t think about Danielle.

(he also wants to get rid of the scent of _Harry_ surrounding the two of them, but that’s a completely different matter)

Zayn knows that it wouldn’t be allowed, though, so instead he pulls Liam into his lap and kisses his hair when he falls asleep during the commercials.

 

iv.

 

The fourth time Zayn wants to kiss Liam is after they’ve won their Brit. They’re all riding that high, all the way to an after party, and Liam’s smile hasn’t faded since they held the statue in their hands and Zayn _cannot stop_ watching his every move. 

Of course, Zayn blames his obsessive tendencies on the alcohol and Liam’s lack of it. Maybe if Liam drank, his eyes wouldn’t be so bright, and Zayn would be able to _stop staring_.

Zayn’s next to an open window with a pack of Marlboros and Liam’s shooting him a specifically disapproving look from across the room. Zayn can’t help himself- he really can’t- he brings the lit cigarette to his lips and breathes in the smoke, looking Liam straight in the eye. It’s _risky_ and intense and none of the other boys are nearby as a buffer.

Liam grins and starts swaying gently to the music, only a few feet away from Zayn, and Zayn can handle that- but then Liam sings along to the chorus and Zayn _really_ can’t handle that, because he’s using his gravelly voice, the one reserved for early morning showers and long car trips.

He’s so caught up in listening to Liam’s voice- even more beautiful than it was that first time, at the auditions- that he doesn’t notice Liam taking the cigarette from his hands and throwing it out the window, or the gentle nudge on his hips, encouraging him to sway in time. No, he’s too busy cursing himself for getting drunk and watching Liam’s lips to notice anything.

That’s when it happens. Well, when it nearly happens, at least. They’re closer than normal, even for them, and Zayn thinks that he should be awarded for his self control, because when _Liam Payne_ is grinding against you and singing _‘come together, right now, over me’_ like it’s something obscene, it’s almost impossible to hold back. 

But Zayn does. He isn’t sure if it’s the alcohol or the twenty other elites of Britain in the room or the nervous reminder that _‘maybe he just doesn’t want this, you presumptuous arsehole’_ , but something convinces him to back away.

He waits until the song finishes before tugging his suit jacket over his erection and sprawling himself in Harry’s lap across the room and just about forcing himself to forget that twinkle in Liam’s eyes right before he left.

 

v.

 

The fifth time Zayn wants to kiss Liam, it’s just the two of them. Except, really, it’s not the two of them in this awkward limbo between bandmates and friends and something more, because Niall’s taken to giggling like a school girl when they touch, and Louis leaves lube in Zayn’s letterman jacket, and Harry is just so _knowing_ all the damn time.

But they can forget that when it’s just the two of them. They spent all day losing themselves in a new city and now – just after dinner with the band when going to bed alone seems wrong – Liam drags Zayn into his bed all for himself.

They’re listening to the sounds of the city and Zayn has one of his arms around Liam’s shoulder and somewhere in Zayn’s head he thinks _yes, this is what Sebastian in the Little Mermaid meant when he said ‘first, you’ve got to create the mood’, this is the mood, kiss him, kiss him, kiss him-_

His phone buzzes harsh on the end table and Zayn really hopes the groan that fell from Liam’s lips as he pulls away is as desperate as it sounds.

 

i.

 

The time Zayn kisses Liam should be more dramatic, considering the build up. It isn’t, though. It’s just like every other moment since their almost-kiss a few weeks ago but they’re alone for the very first time and that shouldn’t be such a rarity, but it is.

They’re backstage before a show and Zayn is nervously picking at the padding over his newest tattoo. Liam catches his eye in the mirror. “If you scratch it, your chances of infection double,” he says, and then he’s there, right in front of Zayn, peeling back the protective coat. He’s practically staring down the tattoo, the one Zayn had jokingly translated to ‘it’s your name in Arabic, Liam, aren’t you pleased?’ before the grumpy set of Liam’s jaw told him that no, he was not pleased.

Liam’s so close that sight isn’t an adequate sense. Now he’s all vibrating heat and strong cologne and a loud heartbeat. His lips brush shamelessly against his skin and Zayn nearly swoons.

“Have you been applying the cream I picked up?” Liam asked, and it’s so husky that Zayn can’t control his hand, shooting out to grasp Liam’s forearm.

Liam looks up then, locking his sparkling eyes on Zayn’s, and lowers his lips to press a kiss to his inked skin. His legs shake but Liam holds him up and swallows his eager moans one by one.

Liam’s lips are warm and soft and just as perfect as imagined and he’s making these darling noises into Zayn’s mouth and stroking behind his teeth with his tongue and-

“So fucking long, Malik,” he laughs. His hands are everywhere now- all over his back, running down his chest, daring a quick brush over his crotch. “I’ve been waiting and being respectful but _no_ -”

Zayn lets out a whimper and starts touching him too- hand in his neat hair and the other over his shoulder blades. There are too many layers between them and it’s been so long since he first wanted this and he _knows_ that they should be slow and pulling away but he can’t, he just wants all of him. He’s halfway through tugging off Liam’s tie when he realises that his jacket is already on the floor and that there’s a very happy Niall a few metres away.

Zayn groans and thumps his head against the wall. Liam notices the three other boys in the room and shifts to bury against Zayn’s neck. 

“Make-up’s going to slaughter you,” Louis says gleefully, tugging at his suspenders.

Zayn spares a glance at the nearby mirror. His lips are bruised and there’s this blush across his cheeks that won’t disappear. Liam laughs against his neck and then they’re kissing again, slower this time, pressed against each other. 

The soft laughter in the room is almost inaudible because it’s just the two of them, and it doesn’t matter how many girls throw themselves at them backstage, because it will be the taste of Zayn on his lips when Liam sings tonight.


End file.
